Riza DIES!
by Chibi Legin
Summary: Take a guess what this is about! It is the horrible fate of a character I love to hate. *WARNING: Foul Language, Sick Humor*
1. What the hell are ya on?

Riza.....DIES!

Chibi Legin

(legin@fcuk-me.co.uk)

or

(chibilegin@yahoo.co.uk)

Rudra no Hihou/ Treasure of the Rudras is a property of Squaresoft and CROWD inc.

WARNING: If you are an obsessed Riza fan, LEAVE NOW! This is not a pretty sight for you Riza fans! Don't say I did not warn you. It's not my fault that you read the fic and gotten upset over it

***

The cycle of Rise and Downfall has been stopped. Everyone was happy as a clam inside the Ark which now the Danan chief Ramirez is apart of. Outside, Ramirez notices something quite fishy outside of the ark, up in the sky. He had to get the attention of the four neo-Rudras, only problem was, that one certain Rudra was high and loco. 

"SCION, SURLENT, DUNE......." Ramirez cries out in distress. One problem though, all three of the guys did not get a real goodnight sleep for obvious reasons. 

Scion rubbed his eye and groaned. "UGH! What the hell is it? Is it another UFO or something?"

"Really. Can't we get some rest for once?" Dune adds, feeling really lethargic.

"NO! YOU CAN'T!" Ramirez scream out. "Now, there is a void of Nothingness outside. It may not be the major one itself, but there are many that need to be taken care of and SOMEONE has to do it!"

"UGH! WHY, WHY?" cried Dune in dismay. Ramirez shook his head, wondering about these new heroes. 

"Because, the deities, SAY SO! NYAH!" Ramirez spouted. "Now, what is wrong young ones?" Surlent started to take his glasses off and rubbed his slightly dry eyes.

"Well, Riza here, was keeping us up all night. turning up her god damn rock and roll music and her super high trip shenanigans." Surlent sighed. "Please, do something about her! She is getting unruly!"

Ramirez rolled his eyes and said, "Then bang on her door and MAKE her get up off her lazy ass. That shall teach her who is boss." 

Scion, Surlent and Dune started to all make their way over to Riza room and started to impatiently bang and knock on Riza's door. They were not sure if Riza could hear them with the loud television booming in her room, but it was worth a shot. Scion then started to kick the door, shouting. "RIZA! GET UP AND OUT! A VOID IS OUTSIDE READY TO WIPE OUT WHATEVER IT COULD FIND!"

"Hold on.....Huh huh huh huh....." Riza chortled, sounding pretty sloshed. She was too "busy" with using her beloved Marijuana bong, going loco and watching a marathon of "Cheech and Chong" movies. "What did you say again? I just got to the best part here......"

"NOW! Come on!" Surlent pled outside the door. Riza still did not listen, started laughing her head off louder and smoking in her Marijuana more.

"Okay okay, I will get up captain.....aye aye!" Riza slurred. She opened the door and stumbled out. Boy, did Riza really look like shit! Her braided up hair was all sticking up, her skin pale with colour under her eyes, and drool coming down her lips. "What is it? Coming onto me or something you buggers......"

"Riza, you bloody stupid bitch!" Dune grumbled, slapping Riza across the face. However, that action only made Riza act goofier yet.

"Unnnnnngh! What lovely, noble bright colours floating around me. In and out, out and around, under and through, above..........."

"Ummmmm.....Dune, that only made Riza act goofier yet." Surlent reasoned with Dune. Ramirez got even more impatient now.

"Just go out there and shut the hell up all ready! YEESH!" Ramirez shouted impatiently.

Everyone started to leave immediately, all end up dragging Riza with them against their own will. Ramirez started to think things over for a bit. "Jesus lord, what the hell was Meifa on when she made Riza her heir? UGH!"

Everyone was now out of the ark, and were trying to track down this Nothingness. But Riza was no help to them though. "Fine, I'm coming everyone, make way for......." Riza sniggered.

"SHUT UP ALREADY RIZA!" Scion, Dune and Surlent shouted in unison.

Blimey, don't you just want to beat the snot out of Riza right now folks? ^_^


	2. La la la la! I am a bad boy!

Unbeknownst to Riza, Ramirez, Scion, Surlent and Dune was actually right! This was up to no good. As it sauntered in the sky, it even said so, "I am up to no good!" Of course, the Neo-Rudra walked in too late to hear that little comment, but their Ark did. However, the Neo-Rudras were having the problems with that spazzy bitch Riza, that they could not think of anything else.

The Void started to hum and whistle in the sky, not having one worry in the galaxy. It's job was swallow whatever it could find and whisk them into the being's own twisted realm. It was in a decent mood, just going on about it's business, not a worry in the world.

"It is a nice day to eat planets and land, and nothing is gonna happen to meeeeeee!" the Void started to sing to itself. However, it started to have different thoughts at the same time. "Ack, damn it, those bloody bastards with the Jades may be after me....." Then, as the void started to feel worried, it had an idea.

"Ah, yes!" The Void thought to itself. "A whole beer and ale brewing factory! I'll devour that all up! Now, nothing shall be in my way after that, AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"

Things are getting odd already! I better take a break. My sides hurt ^^;


	3. 100 bottles of sake on the wall, 100 bot...

Meanwhile, back at the Netherworld, Saizou, Houzhen, Meifa and Mitora started to watch over their heirs. Meifa started to feel disgusted at how her heir became from shy, timid girl to boorish, snotty loser. Meifa started to grab her bottles of Singapore sling and started to chug them down, while the others were just drinking their typical Sake and singing "100 bottles of Sake on the wall".

"Riza, why you dump me for your bloody Mary-Jane weed?" Meifa slurred in anger and dismay. "Get your ass out there and KILL THE EVIL VOIDS! If you don't Riza, I swear, I am not usually a violent woman, but I swear, I WILL MAKE YOUR UGLY BITCH HEAD BLOW UP!"

"Teehehehehe…exploding heads are funny!" Mitora snickered in a child-like manner as Saizou was using her head as a can crusher.

"Duuuuuh, 75 bottles of sake on the wall, 75 bottles of sake!" Saizou belted out. "Ehhhh, pass one up, pass one down......."

"SHUT UP! YOUR SINGING SUCKS ASS!" Houzhen grumbled as he pushed over Saizou. "I am still perfect and want to rule the world. Gya ha ha ha ha.........BURP!" Everyone in the Netherworld were just hamming it up over everything while Meifa was in pieces over her lame excuse for a heir.

"No, Riza! You have better things to do than sit on your ass, smoke weed and watch the 'Smokey and the Bandit' trilogy!" Meifa sobbed out loud. "I did more than you! And I did not become a bum like you." Everyone just looked at Meifa, giving her a funny look.

"Still chatting about that red-headed klutz Meifa?" Mitora asked. "She would trade your ass for more loco weed any day." 

"WHAT? NOOOOOO! That can't be!" Meifa shouts, bitch slapping Mitora. "Take that back you old hag!" 

"Hah! I may be a hag in your eyes, but at least I am not a target of pathetic hentai obsessed freaks on the internet!" Mitora retorted. Houzhen pushed everyone out of the way, grumbling and slurring.

"Yeah, I have the best heir in the world!" Houzhen slurs. "He is a babe!"

"Houzhen, what the hell are you talking about?" Saizou asks, scratching his head.

"Uhhhhhh, huh?" Houzhen wondered. "Yeah, I talk about ruling world." Everyone busted out in to laughter.

"Yeah right old man, don't make me laugh!" Mitora cackled in a drunk sort of way. Suddenly, her stomach started to hurt and she approaches Houzhen closer. Before he knew it, Mitora threw up her vomit all over him. "UGH! I wanna lay down...."

"Are you kidding?" Meifa whined. "I wish I was dead!" Everyone looks curiously at her.

"The hell are ya takning about missy?" Saizou asked, finishing up one of the many Sake bottles laying around. "We are dead, remember?"

"Oh, that is right." Meifa chuckled. "So what do you guys wanna do?"

"What do you mean?" Houzhen shouts. "I am in charge of this. I am Sir Perfect! No one gets in me way!" Then, everyone started to look at Houzhen with gleefully evil eyes, wanting to do what they were unable to do long ago.

"Hey, a bearded punching bag!" Saizou cheers out.

"Ugh, I still gotta vomit....." Mitora sobbed. "But I will do anything to the talking punching bag.

"HOORAY!" Meifa cheered out as she and the others started to gang up on Houzhen and started having hallucinations of him as a punching bag. But somehow, he was too much of a drunken narcissist to care.

Man, I need to lay off the Coffee! 0_o


	4. Look, it's fireworks, it an explosionNO,...

Meanwhile, while all the heroes were out fighting the Nothingness, Riza started to distract everyone from doing their job like she usually would.

"Hey, lets talk to this creature that is so......so....."

"Ugly?" Scion asked.

"No!"

"Evil and twisted and sickening?" Surlent added.

"Hell no!"

"Mmmmmm......okay, we give up!" Dune shouted in frustration.

"IT IS SO DAMN CUTE!" Riza cheered out as she started to try and pet the void. "Say, what would you like to do sweety baby? Wanna go groove at the clubs? Wanna go watch "Texas Chainsaw Massacre' with me? Wanna read some funky ass magazines? Wanna go out? Wanna........."

"RIZA! STOP IT!" Scion screamed as he pried Riza away from the Void.

"Y'know what Riza?" Dune asked.

"Uh what? Wanna let me to go home now?"

"NO!" Dune shouted. "It is your fault that I and the others could not create some other races to help out with fighting this nothingness!" 

"But, uh, I......"

"No butts!" Surlent retorted, face turning bright red. "Now lets just fight the nothingness and get it over with! I have a nasty migraine head ache!" Now, three out of four heroes started to battle the Nothingness. It was a big battle! Everyone fought with every power they had to drive the void away. Well, maybe except Riza, whom kept crying like a stubborn little girl that she is, thus not wanting to fight. 

"Riza, we need you!" Scion summoned. But Riza just ignored him.

"NO!" Riza groaned. "You killing honey bunny of mine!" Scion, against his own will, parted from battle for a bit and started to drag Riza by the collar of her armor. This gave everyone an idea.

"Heh heh, maybe this could make the void retreat." Scion thought to himself as he dragged Riza alongside him. Then Surlent and Dune also gotten a hold of Riza and presented her to the evil void.

"Hey oh great nothingness of beyond!" All three guys greeted.

"What do you want?" The void groaned. "Can't I just wipe out everything and get it over with you bloody son of a bitches!?"

"We have a better plan." Surlent announced. "Say you eat this thing called 'Riza' and then you can go somewhere else and eat planets...." The void looked curiously at the doltish red head, and looked quite pleased with the offer.

"Whao, what a fucked up looking thing you have here." The void said in disgust. "Sure, I'll eat this!" So the void summoned up some gravitation force and sucked Riza inside its body. "Mmmmmmm, delicious......!"

All the guys started to grin widely. Then, some horrid feeling started to purge within the void. 

"Oh Lord no! AAAAAAAAAACK!" The void shouted as it started to blow up. From within the twisted being, Riza instantly exploded into a giant fireball. Only that this fireball was made of flesh, guts, bone, brains and more guts, not to mention her Holy Jade tinted in blood. It was totally bloody cool . Entrails flew all over; some landing in trees, some landing on the Ark, and, to immediate distaste of Scion, Riza's stomach landed on his just shiny clean armor.  


"OH MY GOD!" Scion shouted out. Surlent and Dune look at him curiously.

"What is it?" Surlent and Dune asked in unison!

"That was cooler than fireworks!" Scion cheered. "Now we don't have an immature, snotty pot head bitch to deal with!"

"My lord, that is neat!" Surlent said in enthusiasm. "Now, I hope the new owner of the jade would be much cooler and smarter. Hearing this request, Meifa in the Netherworld started to smile brightly.

"Mmmmm, lets see what I can find here." Meifa said smugly as she started to keep an eye on all the various females she kept track of.

First girl she saw was Marina. "Mmmm.....no, too many phobias in that package."

Then she spotted Miemyl. "No, she is smart, but a little more experience goes a long way."

After that, she saw wise woman Zola in her mountainous hovel. "Mmmm, too old."

Then saw some anonymous little girl. "Mmmmm, that is TOO young!"

As Meifa was about to give up, she saw THE perfect heir for her. "Ah Foxy! Why the hell did I even forget about her! She must be worthy of the Holy Jade!" So Meifa sends the 'Holy Jade' over to Foxie, embedded it between her eyes as painlessly as possible and by Foxie's surprise teleports her away from Vlad and over to where Scion, Dune and Surlent were. Scion was quite pleased and vice versa with Foxie.

"Oh Scion! I miss you!" Foxy shouted out happily.

"Oh Foxie! I am glad you are here too!" Scion cheers out. Surlent and Dune started whistling for Scion and Foxie's attention.

"Hello folks. Look at these nice remains." The two guy shouted out, getting the attention of Scion and Foxie. Both Surlent and Dune where howling with laughter insanely; it looked as though they were rolling a small marble between one another. Surlent picked up the "marble" and rolled it over to Scion. He squished it with glee. "That's the last time Riza will roll her eyes at me!" 

  
"Hey Foxie, catch this!" Scion threw what seemed to be something in the shape of a snowball in the new Holy Jade heir's direction. But of course it was not a snowball. Unless snowballs suddenly had bits of liver, kidneys, muscles and intestine imbedded in a core of human heart. "It would really be cool if snowballs where like that." Foxie giggled playfully and barely dodged the flesh-missile. "Oh, you!" Scooping up a handful of blood veins, she hastily molded it into a ball, flinging at Dune's head.  
  
SPLAT! It struck the back of his skull. A gooey red substance oozed down under his jacket. He laughed merrily. "Hahahahaha! I always knew there was some fun in Riza now!" Reaching down, he grabbed a hold of one of the few bones that had not shattered instantly in impact, a femur. It would make some good jewelry. "Look guys!" he exclaimed. "I'm a jewelry maker!"

"This is fun!" Foxie exclaimed. "Now I have the Holy Jade! Screw you Riza!"

So the fun continued on through the night, happy that the sign of that spazzy bitch Riza could just send the Void away.

La Fin!

Now don't flame me kids, we all have our opinions. Remember "If you cannot say nothing nice, say nothing at all!" (^____^)


End file.
